American Pie

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Sound clips from American Pie

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18yrs.wav (31K)
Stifler's Mom (Jennifer Coolidge): I got some scotch...
Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas): Single Malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years... the way I like it.

facilities.wav (18K)
Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas): It's Senior year... I mean, don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school?
Finch: When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school?

dump.wav (49K)
[Finch taking a huge dump in the girl's restroom]

virgins.wav (14K)
Jim (Jason Biggs): You know we're all gonna go to college as virgins. You realize this right? I mean they probably have special dorms for people like us.

godbless.wav (49K)
Kevin: Oh my God! This is too much!
Finch: Oh you see... there! there that goes... oh geez... God bless the internet!
Jim: Aye-yie-yie!
Finch: Take it off!
Kevin: Oh my God!
All the guys: Ohhh!
Jim: Oh, thank you God for this wonderful wonderful day!
Finch: Man, she takes her vitamins!

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blewit.wav (30K)
Finch: Oh no!
Everyone watching on their computers: Ohhhh! Ahhhno!
Some guy watching: Houston, we have a problem!
Stifler's brother: What happened? What'd he do?!
Stifler (Seann William Scott): He blew it.

used.wav (17K)
Jim: Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!

applepie.wav (24K)
Jim: What exactly does third base feel like?
Oz (Chris Klein): Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

milf.wav (25K)
Party Guy #1: Dude! That chick's a MILF!
Party Guy #2: What the hell is that?
Party Guy #1: M-I-L-F! Mom I'd like to fuck! [Both laugh]

flute.wav (48K)
Michelle (Alyson Hannigan): Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!
Jim: [taking a drink then realizes what she said and spits it out] Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of ancey!

bitch.wav (20K)
Jim: Okay, let's go!
Michelle: What's my name?! SAY MY NAME BITCH!
Jim: Michelle! Michelle! [various things in the room break] Oh God!

masturbating.wav (63K)
Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy): I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.

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