Billy Madison

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Sound clips from Billy Madison

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ShutUp.wav (32K)
Billy: Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha SHUT UP!
BurningPoop.wav (744K)   BurningPoop.mp3 (271K)
[after putting dog poop in a paper bag and lighting it on fire on Old Man Clemens' porch]
Billy Madison: Oh my God, Old Man Clemens hates shit.
Frank: Shh, here he comes.
Old Man Clemens: Who the hell is it? What do you want? Judas Priest, Barbara, it's one of those flaming bags again.
Barbara: Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.
Old Man Clemens: Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman. Call the fire department, this one's outta control.
[Old Man Clemens steps on the bag, then lifts up his boot and smells]
Old Man Clemens: Eck, poop again.
Billy Madison: He called the shit "poop".
[Billy, Jack, and Frank laugh hysterically]
Frank: This is the best night of my life.
[they continue laughing]
Old Man Clemens: I'll get you damn kids for this. You're all gonna die.
BackToSchool.wav (246K)
[Billy singing]
Billy: Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school.
LostDog.wav (277K)
[Billy talking about pet owner responsibility]
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BestGameEver.wav (132K)
Kid: Mortal Combat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy: I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Kid: Donkey Kong sucks!
Billy: You know something? You SUCK!
Milk.wav (260K)
Billy: Hey, look at all this milk. You want some of this milk?
Veronica: That milk belongs to that classroom.
Billy: They don't gots to know about it. It could be our milk.
Veronica: No milk will ever be our milk.
Billy: That wasn't very nice. How about you sideburns? You want some of this milk?
Janitor: I'd rather have a beer.
Smartest.wav (31K)
Billy: I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!
Today.wav (46K)
Billy: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!
BlewIt.wav (21K)
Billy: YOU BLEW IT!
PeeYaPants.wav (156K)
Kid: Hey, look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy: Of course I peed my pants, everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest! You ain't cool unless you pee your pants.
OldLady.wav (124K)
old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy: That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life!
Grossest.wav (65K)
Billy: That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life!
CoolOldLady.wav (57K)
old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis.
Ass.wav (69K)
Chris Farely: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ass!
Sloppy.wav (231K)
Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes! I made 'em extra sloppy for yas. I know how you's kids like 'em sloppy!
Billy: Lady, your scaring us.
Chlorophyll.wav (44K)
Billy: Chlorophyll! More like borophyll!
Funny.wav (40K)
Billy: HA HA HA HA OH MY GOD, THAT IS FUNNY!
Interrupt.wav (41K)
Billy: So sorry to interrupt!
Peace.wav (35K)
Billy: PEACE! I'M OUTA HERE!

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