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Sound clips from Dumb and Dumber
Some WAV sound files are compressed using MPEG Layer 3 (MP3) for faster download times. Download Winamp if you have any problems playing them.Accent.wav (192K)
Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
Woman: Lets not.
Lloyd: Suck me sideways!
Lloyd: So, where you headed?
Lloyd: Mmm, California... beautiful.
Lloyd: Hey, how about a hug?
Lloyd: I hate good-byes.
Lloyd: Goodbye my love!
Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser!
Lloyd: Oh yeah, tractor beam... sucked me right in.
Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip.
Lloyd: Yeah, unless you want to work 40 hours a week.
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Lloyd: Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow, and dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose. Now don't you go dying on me!
Lloyd: We got no food. We got no jobs. Our pet's HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!
Lloyd: Some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry: I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Lloyd: WE'RE REALLY DOING IT THOUGH AREN'T WE BUDDY!!!
Lloyd: Excuse me Flo. [laughing] Flo like the T.V. show.
Lloyd: What is the soup du jour.
Waitress: It's The Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm... that sounds good, I'll have that.
Lloyd: Feels good to mingle with these laid back country folk don't it Harry. I like it allot.
Man: KICK HIS ASS SEA BASS!!!
State Trooper: Pull over!
Harry: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.
Lloyd: Yeah! Killer boots man!
Boozing.wav (306K) Boozing.mp3 (112K)
State Trooper: You fellas been doing a bit of Boozing have ya? Sucking back on grandpa's old cough medicine.
Harry & Lloyd: Oh no, no sir.
State Trooper: Yeah well what's that?
Harry: That's nothing sir.
Lloyd: Yeah nothing.
State Trooper: Yeah, well you aware it's against the law to have an open alcohol container here in the state of Pennsylvania? Come on give me them booze you little pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!
State Trooper: You'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya buddy!
Lloyd: Tic Tac Sir?
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something I don't know I really wasn't paying attention.
Gambling.wav (389K) Gambling.mp3 (142K)
Harry: I think you're wrong Lloyd.
Lloyd: How much you want to bet?
Harry: I don't bet.
Lloyd: What do you mean you don't bet?
Harry: I mean I don't bet.
Lloyd: Pussy pusssy pussssy. Yeah, right. I bet you 20 bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
Harry: No way.
Lloyd: I'll give you 3 to 1 odds.
Lloyd: 5 to 1.
Lloyd: 10 to 1.
Harry: You're on.
Lloyd: I'm gonna get ya. I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya.
AnnoyingSound.wav (218K) AnnoyingSound.mp3 (40K)
Lloyd: Hey, you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Lloyd: Life's a fragile thing Harry. One minute you're chewing on a burger the next minute you're dead meat.
Lloyd: Hey guys, oh big gulps huh... alright well see you later.
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit man.
Harry: You know Lloyd, just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself.
Harry: Holly jeez look and the butt on that.
Lloyd: Yeah, he must work out.
ExtraGloves.wav (302K) ExtraGloves.mp3 (110K)
Harry: I can't feel my fingers anymore Lloyd, there numb.
Lloyd: Maybe you should wear these extra gloves, my hands are starting to get sweaty.
Harry: Extra gloves? You've had this pair of extra gloves this whole time?
Lloyd: Yeah, we're in the Rockies.
Harry: Look at the fun bags on that hose hound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some farver beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.
Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling Lloyd.
Lloyd: I'm gonna hang by the bar. Put out the vibe.
Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there.
Mary: Any unusual breeding?
Harry: No, mostly just doggy style.
Harry: One time we successfully mated a Bulldog with a Shitzu.
Mary: Really? That's weird.
Harry: Yeah, we called it a Bullshit.
Lloyd: No, and I don't care!
Lloyd: No way that's great. WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!!
Mary: So you'll pick me up tonight at 7:45?
Harry: Well no I got a few things to take care of first, but why don't we make it a quarter to 8.
Mary: Stop it.
Harry: O.K. 7:45.
Shit.wav (300K) Shit.mp3 (110K)
[Harry taking a Turbo Lax induced shit.]
Lloyd: I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.
Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?
Lloyd: You mean not good like 1 out of a 100?
Marry: I'd say more like 1 out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance. Yeah! I read ya.
Nicholas Andre: Where's all the money?
Lloyd: That's as good as money sir, those are IOUs. Go ahead and add it up every cents accounted for. Look, see this that's a car, 275 thou might want to hang on to that one.
Lloyd: If one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn, maybe we should call it quits right now.
Harry: You just show me where to sign bud.
Lloyd: RIGHT ON MY ASS AFTER YOU KISS IT!!!
Lloyd: You killed my best friend you bastard!
Nicholas Andre: Well if it's any consolation you're about to be reunited.
[Harry unloads his gun on Andre and doesn't hit him once]
Lloyd: Harry, you're alive, and you're a horrible shot.
LuckyGuys.wav (324K) LuckyGuys.mp3 (118K)
Lloyd: WOW! Two lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls for the next couple of months!
Harry: Yeah, don't worry we'll catch our break too we just got to keep our eyes open.
Lloyd: You're it.
Harry: You're it...
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